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Monday, February 1, 2016

5 Lies Good Moms Tell Their Children

Yesterday I found myself telling my unsuspecting daughter the second well-intentioned lie I'd told her in the past 24 hours. And it occurred to me that this is something most moms do everyday - lie to our kids with the very best of intentions. I mean, there are times when the truth just ain't helping anyone. Am I right or am I right y'all?

Here are 5 lies I have told my kids more than once with a perfectly clean conscience:

Lie #1: I don't know how that got in the trash can! 
Truth: That is the 4th picture you've colored of Cinderella in the past 4 days. It is not a masterpiece and Mommy is not keeping it on her dresser.

Lie #2: I don't know if you'll be getting any shots today. 
Truth: Oh sweet child, my heart is racing at the pain you're going to be experiencing in a few minutes and I will not add to my own internal turmoil by offering up the truth so that you can scream and rage and refuse to be pushed through the threshold of the doctor's office.

Lie #3: Mom and Dad are still sleeping, we'll be out in a minute! 
Truth: This is the process that gave you life and one day you'll thank me for sparing you the details.

Lie #4: Sorry honey, we're all out of batteries. 
Truth: The background noise in this home is enough to make me lose my mind.  Your ridiculously, insanely, stupidly loud toy is now a silent toy. #sorrynotsorry

Lie #5: Coffee will stop your body from growing so only Mommy can drink it. 
Truth: This is the one thing keeping me alive today and no you can not have any of it.

What lies do you tell your children on the reg without feeling guilty?

P.S. If reading about the bad things other moms do makes you feel better about yourself, you should read about one of the more memorable times I swore in front of my kid - Dropping the Bomb.

P.P.S. If you like these list-style posts, check out The 5 Most Annoying Things People Say to Moms at the Grocery Store.  


  1. So so many things come to mind like:
    1. Yes, that outfit looks great.
    Why: If you're comfortable in it, I don't see a problem. And I don't feel like fighting about plaids with stripes today. Unless we're going to be in a formal setting.
    2. I don't think that (annoying, idiotic, horrible) show is on today.
    Why: Self explanatory
    3. I didn't bring your music class CD in the car today.
    Why: See above
    4. I tried to put more batteries in it and it's still not working.
    Why: See above.
    5. There are no such thing as monsters.
    Why: Because you have enough time in your life to learn that's just not true, but you're little now so let's just be little.
    6. No no. I said "BAD DRIVER" or "MONSTER TRUCKER" or "FOCACCIA" or "SHIPS AHOY".
    Why: Because. Reasons.

    1. Tara I love all of these. Definitely guilty of #2, #3 and #4. And #6? A thousand times yes.

  2. hahaha i can't decide which my favorite is but the top two contenders are: Mom and Dad are still sleeping, we'll be out in a minute! and Sorry honey, we're all out of batteries.

    1. You can just file these away to use as needed in a few years.


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