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Monday, February 1, 2016

5 Lies Good Moms Tell Their Children

Yesterday I found myself telling my unsuspecting daughter the second well-intentioned lie I'd told her in the past 24 hours. And it occurred to me that this is something most moms do everyday - lie to our kids with the very best of intentions. I mean, there are times when the truth just ain't helping anyone. Am I right or am I right y'all?

Here are 5 lies I have told my kids more than once with a perfectly clean conscience:

Lie #1: I don't know how that got in the trash can! 
Truth: That is the 4th picture you've colored of Cinderella in the past 4 days. It is not a masterpiece and Mommy is not keeping it on her dresser.

Lie #2: I don't know if you'll be getting any shots today. 
Truth: Oh sweet child, my heart is racing at the pain you're going to be experiencing in a few minutes and I will not add to my own internal turmoil by offering up the truth so that you can scream and rage and refuse to be pushed through the threshold of the doctor's office.

Lie #3: Mom and Dad are still sleeping, we'll be out in a minute! 
Truth: This is the process that gave you life and one day you'll thank me for sparing you the details.

Lie #4: Sorry honey, we're all out of batteries. 
Truth: The background noise in this home is enough to make me lose my mind.  Your ridiculously, insanely, stupidly loud toy is now a silent toy. #sorrynotsorry

Lie #5: Coffee will stop your body from growing so only Mommy can drink it. 
Truth: This is the one thing keeping me alive today and no you can not have any of it.

What lies do you tell your children on the reg without feeling guilty?

P.S. If reading about the bad things other moms do makes you feel better about yourself, you should read about one of the more memorable times I swore in front of my kid - Dropping the Bomb.

P.P.S. If you like these list-style posts, check out The 5 Most Annoying Things People Say to Moms at the Grocery Store.  
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