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Monday, August 17, 2015

The 5 Most Annoying Things People Say to Moms at the Grocery Store

Last Friday I went to Publix (where shopping is usually a pleasure) with my 4 kids in tow as per the norm these days. I innocently walked up to the seafood counter to request a center-cut salmon fillet and was treated to an exceptionally awkward interrogation from Mr. Seafood.

It doesn't even take a huge family to elicit stares and unwanted commentary at the grocery store these days. Twins will do it. Babies less than 2 years apart will do it. Three kids or more? Well you'd best be prepared to be stopped at least half a dozen times on any occasion you leave the house.

Here's a round up of my personal favorites - along with accompanying responses you can tuck into your back pocket. Determine the type of day you're having and choose a sweet or spicy response accordingly.

1. Well! You sure have your hands full, don't you!

Sweet: You should see my heart!
Spicy: Would you like to take one, or two?

2. I don't how you do it! 

Sweet: Oh with lots of prayer...
Spicy: You know, making small talk with strangers really seems to help...

3. Did you plan to have them all so close together/so far apart?

Sweet: (blush at un-solicited reference to your sex life) Oh no, just a happy accident.  
Spicy: Yup. It's been a life-long dream of mine to change diapers continuously for a decade/ Oh yes! Once one was in Kindergarten we realized how much we missed changing diapers.

4. Are they all yours?

Sweet: Every blessed one.
Spicy: Oh no! I just rented a few to run errands with.

5. You do know how that happens, don't you?

Sweet: (demure giggle)
Spicy: We do! We're surprised there aren't more of them...

For any of you who don't go to the grocery store with multiple children hanging off your cart, if you see a mom with kids at the grocery store and you cannot help but speak to her, here are two phrases that are universally well-received:

"What a lovely family you have." or  "You're doing a great job."

What do you think moms? Did I miss any of your personal favorites?


  1. These. Are. FANTASTIC! I need to put these responses on an index card and laminate it to keep at-the-ready in my purse!!! I have a few additional favorites since I've got two girls and a third girl on the way...everyone seems to want to comment on the single-gender thing. "Oh, their poor father." - My LEAST they not think my girls can hear them??? "Keep trying, you'll get your boy." - Who says we were trying for one? We are overflowing with happiness over our three girls! My ACTUAL favorite from a woman behind me at church when I said we were having a third girl: "What a blessing. You'll love it; I was one of three girls." - My heart burst and tears filled my eyes as I thanked her.

    1. I would be LIVID if someone said, "Oh their poor father," in front of my girl. My husband would be stunned to be the recipient of any comment along those lines too I'm sure. People!!

  2. Seriously! Has someone actually said the last one to you?!?!? I only get "you have your hands full."

    1. Oh yes. Many times in fact. Like my friend said, "do they not realize they are talking about our SEX lives?!"

  3. Having two boys and being pregnant with a girl right now, I get all the time "are you having a girl this time?" & when I say yes people respond with "oh good!" Or "third time it worked, huh?", etc. As though we surely couldn't/wouldn't want another boy. As though we tried to have another baby just to get a girl.

    1. Ugh! People! Now I'm sure you'll get the comment about "evening it out" with one more girl. ;)

  4. I love this!! I have 4, 3.5 and under, 21month old twins and a 4 week old.. I have yet to go out w all 4, and don't really plan on it anytime soon! But even just going out w the twins I get comments like this! Totally going to use some of these! :) thanks for sharing I love it! And it's nice to see someone else who gets the crazy of having the blessing of 4!

    1. Congrats on number 4!! My first two are 19 months apart and I thought that was hard. Cannot imagine 19 months between a singlet and a set of twins. Whew!! You are doing an amazing thing. I can't wait until you do get to use some of these. The spicy response to #5 is my personal fave. ;)

  5. I just came across your 2015 post and would like to add a few from friends with many children...

    "Are they all yours? when are you thinking of stopping?" Answer... "Funny you ask. Last night my husband and I were talking about this and we decided we would stop as soon as we had an ugly one!"

    "Do you realize what you are doing to society having so many children?" Answer, "yes, we are creating a superior race".

    Just some of them.... best response for these impertinent comments is humor


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