A few people have asked me how I get my grocery shopping done now that I have three little ones in tow. If I were a smart mama I'd probably just go to the store on Saturday or Sunday with my most docile child while B Daddy watched the others. But I'm extremely protective of weekend time with my man - I hate wasting a precious hour doing something like grocery shopping....so I've developed a system that enables me to go to the store with all three precious darlings. It's working for now. I'll report back in a few months or a year when things change.
Here we go -
We back out of the driveway and arrive at Publix precisely five minutes later. I only go to this one Publix store. Ever. This means we don't have to listen to more than one VeggieTales song and the children generally haven't started screaming by the time we pull in.
We park the car (same aisle every time) I unbuckle the 3 year old, stash my infant in the Moby Wrap and grab the 2 year old (my runner/least predictable child) last. We slowly make our way into the store and grab the only acceptable race car cart. Not the one with the loose steering wheel or the one with the broken buckle. Grab either of those carts and my children will LOSE THEIR MINDS.
Once seated, both toddlers steer their hearts out while I navigate the unwieldily cart down each aisle. Did I mention all children went to the bathroom/were fed/got fresh diapers before we left? Critical component.
THAT'S IT! I barked through gritted teeth. NO COOKIE! NO ONE GETS A COOKIE! NEITHER OF YOU. NOW SIT DOWN AND DO! NOT! TOUCH! EACH OTHER!!
Yes my children would like a balloon! How thoughtful. What color balloon? The only color you don't have at your register of course. Yes my three year old would like you to walk down to register 8 to grab a blue balloon, thank you. And sure you can push the cart out to my car! It's the mini-van (obviously). I'll just walk slightly ahead while you dodge the blue balloon my son is beating against your head. Hold up a minute! Need to grab the keys that my daughter just threw overboard! Yes, you can load the car up for me. Don't mind the double stroller taking up the entire trunk. I'll wrangle the kids into carseats in the meantime. Pay no attention to the screaming! -Big Smile- No tip? Are you sure? Well ok -see you next week!!
The drive home is mercifully short. Once there, we all collapse from exhaustion and gear ourselves up for a repeat performance in just six short days.