Enter your email address:

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Now We See in Part

I have a lot to fill you in on. We made some mega-big decisions around here about the co-habitation of our children and the porch renovation and there are now THREE chickens taking up residence in our palatial backyard coop (none of whom will lay a darn egg).

I'll get around to all of that I will.

But it came to my attention last night that my post about buying Fruity Cheerios inadvertently made another mama friend feel bad about her mothering/grocery store-ing skills. And that is a matter I feel needs to be dealt with ASAP.

I have a few things I'm good at when it comes to my newly-acquired mothering skills. I am good at feeding my children mostly nutritionally balanced (non-organic mind you) meals on a budget. I'm good at breaking into Disney songs without warning in the car. I'm good at snuggling. I'm good at not freaking out over a little blood (generally speaking of course.)

But when it comes to most other things...I am a serious work in progress. Patience is not my strong suit. I never knew I had anger issues until I became Mom. I don't like playing pretend. I usually make an exasperated face and sigh when my children wake up in the morning or from naps. I run out of joy, kindness and grace before lunchtime most days.

My sister? SO CONTROLLED with the tone of voice she uses with her kids.

My girlfriend Amy? JOYOUSLY SILLY with her little man.

My high school friend Lindsay lets her kid GET DOWN AND DIRTY when he plays.

Another mama I know from afar has done an incredible job of TEACHING RESPECT to her 6 yr old.

This lady's blog I read? She feeds her family of 6 way more healthily than I do on a budget that's less than HALF OF MINE.

I admire these women because I struggle with these things. I struggle not to yell and to just be silly at times, to get over the inevitable mess of play dough and finger paint and focus on the joy. To patiently correct again and again until respectful behavior starts emerging. To better myself and my children in our days together. And these women, in the snapshots of their mothering I see, seem to have it so much more together than I do. And I wanted to remind you and remind me that what we see in glimpses is not the full picture. What we read on blogs is the best, or the funniest, or the healthiest or the most noble of parenting moments.

But it's just a piece of the whole picture. They're not perfect. I'm not perfect. (Although I suspect you knew that...) So give yourself a little grace for today and go on being the best mama you can be. One Fruity Cheerio at a time.


  1. 1. Maybe your chickens are roosters... 2. I was never a crafty mother, it was always a mess, but, when I got to the grandmother stage, now we can craft - with puzzled stares from my children. 3. Do the best you can and let the chips fall where they may. You may not be like the mother next door, your sister, your mother, but you are you. And, your style of parenting will be entirely yours, unique. You can tell your children when they grow up, I did my best and that's all that matters.

  2. Amen sister. We all have our mothering quirks, but that is what makes us wonderfully imperfect. What matters is we love our children, but we all show love differently. I might show it by letting my soon to be 3 year old get her ears pierced, like her big sister, where you might show it with Cheerios. When it comes down to it, our kids are going to remember the moments, the snuggles, the special boxes of cereal....we might remember the times we got frustrated or yelled, but that isn't what matters and what sticks with them.

    I wish we as mothers were less critical of ourselves, whether you are a working mom or a stay at home organic cook or not....whether you coupon or buy at Sam's, we are all in the same boat. We are all on this crazy, chaotic, hectic learning curve of a ride. None of us really know what we are doing, but that is ok, because when it comes right down to it, we are in it together.

  3. So true - blogs only let us in to whatever part of the writer's world that the writer wants to let us in on. Rarely do we see the whole picture and you really can't know the full story unless you've walked in their shoes. Blogs and the internet can be great when we find someone that we connection with. But I've definitely read a blog post or two along the way that made me feel bad about whatever it is that I'm doing or the way I'm doing it. Thanks for the reminder to not be so hard on ourselves!

  4. Thanks for the encouraging comments y'all! And Helen - Hester is definitely a girl...any change in her routine upsets her "cycle" of laying. Hopefully the other two are girls as well...we haven't heard any crowing yet...

  5. I think it's pretty silly when you and E drop the F bomb, so hey, you are a silly mom too! ha! Well, I admire and celebrate your tidiness, your discipline, your adventures, your big projects that actually get started and completed and your whole life. Jack always is saying to stop comparing myself to you, but I talk about you and the family a lot because I like you so much. the end.


site design by designer blogs