How Long Does Homeschool Take?

I love to remind moms that school at home does not take as long as school at school. If you can set aside 3 hour block of time in your day, you can do this. Young children have short attention spans and until about 3rd grade, they really shouldn't be working on any one lesson longer than 30 minutes. (20 is actually better!) Aim for 20 good minutes of math, 20 good minutes of reading together or working on handwriting, and then move along. If you string together three 20 minute blocks of teaching time in a day in the early years, that is enough for the day - you’re done!

More reminders for bringing peace to your homeschool day are over on the Birds on a Wire blog today!

Is There Really Such A Thing As "Behind"?

Because I’ve been home educating my kids going on seven years now, I’ve been getting lots of questions lately from parents who have chosen homeschooling as their best option in the face of unique circumstances this year. 

One of the most common questions I’m asked is something along the lines of, “what do I need to do to ensure my kid doesn’t fall behind?” 

My standard response, “Help me understand what you mean by ‘behind’…” usually receives a puzzled look. 

What these parents are asking for is of course, a curriculum recommendation or a checklist they can follow to keep their kid on track academically. “Well she’s in first grade and I’d like to know what she needs to be reading. Also, she doesn’t know her times tables yet…”

 

These parents, like so many of us, have accepted the idea that education is a race and as parents, our duty is to give our kids every advantage so that one day they might win. We quietly hope our child will gain an early lead. At the very least, we do everything possible to ensure they stay in line with the pack. To fall behind…well, we don’t like imagining the consequences. What would that say about our child? If we were truly honest, what would that say about us?  

 

It’s no wonder we operate from this paradigm. Education initiatives named “No Child Left Behind” and “Head Start” surround us. We use standardized testing each spring to crown academic winners and losers. We test, analyze, compare, and adjust classrooms each year in a desperate attempt to push the fast kids faster and figure out what’s gone wrong with the slower ones.  Each year we hand this message off to our kids alongside their backpacks and school lunches: education is a race you must run better than (or at least on pace with) everyone else…or else.

 

From Kindergarten on our kids are caught in a cycle of constantly comparing themselves to their peers to check where they rank. Anxietyand depression are at an all time high among today’s generation of students, and experts believe a high-stakes academic environment is one factor responsible for this epidemic. We have confused attending school with getting an education.  We have confused good test scores with true achievement. We haven’t stopped to consider whether winning the race equates to real success. We haven’t known another way of thinking about education.

 

Our standard-centric system was built to reward students who run the race according the rules the adults have created for them, but these same high achievers often struggle to succeed when they step off the school track and into the working world.  

 

COVID-19 has given us an opportunity to step back and observe the system. Is it still serving our children well? Teachers, administrators. and parents are all at a loss for how to proceed in this new normal. No one knows what the best course of action is right now. My hope for parents is that we'll use this time-out, this forced re-evaluation, to think critically about how we choose to educate our children. While the rules are being thrown out the window, let’s collectively take a minute to consider if we still want to play by them. 

Is your kids’ education really a race? What if it was something more?

 

So, You Might Be Homeschooling This Fall

Hey friends! Long time no see. I'm dusting off the blog
because so many families are facing a school change for the fall and I thought I'd do what I can to encourage them.

If you're new here, Hello!

I'm Katie, homeschool mom to 4 kids; ages 6, 8, 9 and 11. I've been homeschooling for six years now,  and we're about to head into a new school year with a First grader, Third grader, Fourth grader and Sixth Grader. I have always homeschooled my kids and I. LOVE. IT.

If you've found your way here I assume that you're looking into options because virtual school wasn't a great fit, or sending your kids to school isn't a good option for you, and you've concluded that homeschooling might be your last resort. That's awesome!

Maybe homeschooling will be hard every single day and you'll send your kids right back where they came from when things "go back to normal" or maybe you won't ever want to go back to 'normal". Either way, I'd love to help assuage any fears, dial down the intimidation factor, and help you figure out how to survive.

Here's a list of all some homeschool posts from my archives for your viewing pleasure. I'll be on IG a lot this week responding to your DMs and posting about our daily routine, the tools we use and what our experience has been like, so follow me over there for videos and short posts. I'll keep longer content here on the blog.

If you've reached out or DMd me, know that I'm praying for you as you make the right choice for your family this fall!

xo,
Katie


Back to the Beginning (When Our Oldest Entered Kindergarten)

How Do I Read Aloud to a Mixed Age Group?

Homeschool Plans for a 1st Grader (with a 4 year old, 3 year old and baby tornado in the mix)

My First Day of Homeschooling Alone

What We Learned The First Month of Homeschool

Day in the Life of a Homeschooler (1st Grade, Pre-K, 3 year old, baby tornado)

A Good Reminder on Days When You Don't Even Open a Book

End of Year Wrap Post, Year Two

Homeschool Plans for a Kindergartner & 2nd grader (with a toddler and an infant thrown in for fun)

The Wheels Have Fallen Off The Bus, Friends

Hard is Okay Sometimes

When It's All Too Much to Handle

Reflections on the 3rd year of Homeschooling

(Psst: Read this one when you feel like you're really not cut out for this)

How We Get Started in the Morning

The Last Homeschool(ish) Update of 2019

I'm Baaaaaaaaack (for today anyway)

Hi, friends! Remember me? (There's a good chance you don't...and if so, please just find the unsubscribe button somewhere around here and click it.) I will be totally and completely un-offended. I haven't blogged in a year so this is somewhat akin to a high school friend popping in unannounced for dinner. It's totally fine to kick me out.

But if you're my Nana, or my GranAnn, or one of my aunts, or you're just interested in re-living the good old days - let's talk!

Life has been crazy, nutso, for the past 18 months. I truly never imagined back when my days looked like this that I'd find myself here, 7 years later, wishing for those days of nap time and endless laps around the neighborhood while waiting for BJ to get home. I miss the boring, monotonous simplicity of that girl's life.

She'd probably kick me in the face if I said that to her.

These days I wake up before dawn and head out for a work-out, then come home at 7:30, kiss BJ good-bye, and tackle either work or homeschool - depending on how many kids are awake and how many fires I need to put out work-wise.

I have zero boundaries erected for work or school. If this seems like a bad idea to you, I assure you it is. I pick up my phone and respond to urgent Slack notifications during math lessons and I cover the receiver and whisper how to spell A-M-A-Z-I-N-G to my 2nd grader in the middle of phone calls about podcast advertising. Sounds fun, right?

Elijah turned 10 last week and has just finished 4th grade, during which he learned how to write a 5 paragraph essay, worked out long division and multiplying fractions and is budding into a pretty spectacular little artist if I do say so myself.

Britain is 8 and a half and finished 2nd grade about 3 months ago. I honestly need to challenge this child more but I was just grateful this year to have one kiddo who didn't need anything explained to her twice and who does not delight in living room wrestling matches when I am trying to work. She taught herself cursive, typing, and is keeping a diary of gourmet cupcake recipes that we are supposed to begin making this summer. If anyone wants to volunteer to come be a substitute mom for that project, I'm taking applications now.

Ben. Oh Ben. Let's just say reading has not come easily to my little first grader. We struggle daily to get through short lessons and he has no interest (and a stubborn streak a mile wide) in putting in more than the very least amount of effort required. To say I'm struggling and questioning my ability to teach him is an understatement. Silver linings in the academic arena with this kid include general math competency, a unique lens through which he sees the world and an infectious amount of charm. Wait, that last one's not academic.

Jude decided he was ready to read last week and is already 1/4 of the way through the book Ben and I have been slogging through for 2 years. Praise Jesus for miracles. I don't know if I could wade through that book at a snail's pace again. Academics will not be an issue for this kid. Submission to authority on the other hand, is a whole 'nother ball of wax.

We wrap up our school day around 1:30 on any given day and then I try to fully turn my attention (ha!) to work from 2-5. I am typically just finding a groove (aka done checking Instagram) right around the time BJ lets me know he's coming home and so I pivot from spreadsheets and emails to dinner and karate.

The kids stay up later these days (we were putting a recalcitrant 4 year old back to bed at 9:30pm last night) and I fall asleep earlier unless it's a Sunday night and Game of Thrones is coming on.

...all of that to say, life is kicking my butt these days. I consider dropping homeschool and/or work weekly but so far I haven't gotten clarity that either of those is the right decision to make. I miss blogging even though it's become this whole THING since I started writing because I needed contact with the outside world in 2009. It's funny that while I work daily to blog for pay for someone else and know the ins and outs of how it should be done to garner a following and gain traction - I have zero desire to do that here.

I just like this whole public diary thing. I want to connect with you guys and share my heart. I just want to write. We took at pretty epic vacation last week and I want to share the details of it all with you guys - so be on the lookout for another post prior to 2020.

Again, sorry for barging in on you like this, but man, I've missed you!

One Big Mistake

You guys are my people. Some of you are family, most of you are friends or acquaintances, but if you read these words in this space, you're my people. So I need to tell you about something that happened last weekend.

You know how I have a tendency to only attempt things I'm already good at, or things that I know I'll be successful at? Well if you don't know, now you do. I'm the kind of girl who minimizes her risk of failure at every turn. Remember how last year's pull-up challenge was so good for me in even just admitting I was a beginner at something?

See there's something in the way I'm wired that makes me terrified of failure. I know no one enjoys failing, but my particular brand of fear means I don't even try things if there's a chance I won't be an instant success. I quit things that are hard and if by chance I attempt anything difficult I do it in small spaces. Small try, small fail. I'm an Ennegram 3 after all and part of my 3ness means being very careful to present a failure-free Katie to the world.

But I got a job recently. A friend and I paired up to start a boutique digital marketing firm and now we have multiple clients that we do real work for in the real world. Which is 1 part exciting and 1 part terrifying- because what if? What if I'm not great at this? What if I screw it up? What if they find out I'm not an expert? So I've been slowly stretching my wings and doing work that I LOVE for clients I BELIEVE IN and it has felt a bit busy and at times chaotic but overall, worthy and exciting.

And then last week I made a mistake.

A BIG MISTAKE.

The kind of mistake that backspace doesn't fix. A big mistake that went out on the internet for thousands of eyeballs to see.

My (new) boss was the first one to catch it. I got a text in the middle of an otherwise lovely Saturday afternoon and I instantly knew what it was and how it had happened. My torso heated up and my heart started racing. I couldn't breathe. This was it. My worst fear was actually happening and it was really public. She had seen it and there was no way to undo it or to get the mistake genie back in the bottle.

I tried to do a BIG NEW THING and made A BIG MISTAKE. I felt stupid and unknowledgeable and incompetent. I was apologizing while knowing there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't take it back and I couldn't make it right.

And then my boss did something so incredible, so loving and so kind. She offered me grace. Now I know - I'm a Jesus-follower. I have been extended Grace with a capital G. I ought to understand how sweet a gift it is. But it is so precious to have a human offer grace and frankly, I don't open myself up to the need for it very often. My boss called me right away and we talked about how and why it had happened and she gave me the gift of gracious words. I knew she was upset- I would have been pissed. I knew she was frustrated and this was not something she wanted to think about on a Saturday and that this was kind of a big deal, and yet...she extended grace. She told me it was okay. She said it wasn't the end of the world and that we weren't doing brain surgery. (Which, um, for my brain surgeon friends out there - what do people say when you make a mistake!?) It didn't minimize my mistake and it didn't change the situation, but it changed the way I felt about myself and it drew my heart toward her and this work.

As Easter approaches this weekend, I can't help but make the comparison. Isn't that just the best picture of what Christ has done for us? We are big mistakers. Over and over again. And not just accidental, oopsie! kind of mistakes, but real, willful, on-purpose mistaking. And in the middle of our mess He reached out and extended grace. Jesus knows about all our mistakes. He reaches out anyway. He draws us near and declares, "I still love you." When this Grace is the foundation I have built my life around, why is it so hard for me to let down this wall and own up to my own imperfection?

Am I embarrassed? Yes. Chastened? Yes. A little wiser than I was before the big mistake? Yes yes yes. But it has been over a week since the BIG MISTAKE and the world is in fact still spinning. I've even still got a job. My family knows all about the big mistake and they are still talking to me.  I'm hoping that maybe in making this one big mistake I've taken a sledgehammer to the wall of perfection I've built around myself. Maybe it's a part of a long over-due process that will finally tear down the wall.

That Time I Got a Job

Six months ago I said yes to a project.

A friend and I saw an opportunity to help a ministry we love do something we love doing. So we formed a company and launched a website and pitched ourselves as the solution they didn't know they were looking for. We ended up getting a three month contract to do work for them and I'm making it work by staying up late or getting up early. I'm figuring out how to fit "work" into the cracks of life formerly filled by reading or resting (okay fine - formerly filled by binging Parks & Rec).  And you know, we are doing dang good work and just got our contract renewed for another 3 months, yay us.

Then a few weeks ago another opportunity presented itself - a chance to do meaningful work for another lovely organization and get paid a little something for the effort. We figured it was a long shot, but my friend/partner is legit INSANE when she gets an idea in her head and she went for it and (unsurprisingly considering the effort she put forth) we got it. I'll get to tell you what it is in a month or so.

And frankly? I'm a little bit terrified.

In the span of a few short months I've voluntarily signed myself up to be accountable for deadlines and to do work that actually has an effect on other people's lives. Y'all. Over the past 9 years of staying at home, I have had practically ZERO accountability to others. I mean, beyond God -which is pretty serious- and beyond my husband, who is the most easy-going man on the planet, don't nobody tell me what to do. I'm the CEO around here and the only lives affected by my productivity or lack thereof is my family's. So having work to do for other people is a big change of pace. And beyond that...this whole mom thing takes a lot out of me. After a day of homeschooling I need to decompress like a diver coming up from the ocean floor.

So why on earth did I get myself into this situation?

For 9 years mom life has been my sole focus and it feels scary and strange and a bit unsettling to change what is so comfortable a routine for me. But I want to see where this all goes. In part it felt silly not to use skills I've acquired when it comes to producing and publishing digital content when there was a need and an opportunity to do so, and in larger part, I really like what these organizations are up to in the world. When I hemmed and hawed about whether or not I had the margin to take on these projects, BJ wisely asked if I would regret not taking these opportunities. And the answer was yes.

So FYI - I got a job. It doesn't pay particularly well yet but it engages me daily with people I admire, doing worthy work for the express purpose of encouraging mothers. Seems like a decent gig to me. I'll keep you posted.

Waiting on Sabbath

My third grader still struggles to know what day of the week it is. If he asks and I respond with, "well yesterday was Tuesday, so today is..." He'll scrunch his face, give me a questioning glance and guess, "Thursday?!" 

I can't really even blame the kid. One day looks a lot like all the others around here. Besides attending church on Sunday, there aren't any major events that divide the week for the kids and me. We sleep in on Mondays and take our field trips on Saturdays. There's not a whole lot of reason to get particularly excited about Fridays, except that pizza is on the menu for dinner. For the most part I like our rhythm. The idea of rushing around in the moorings is an anathema to me...but it has been nagging at me lately that all of my days seem to run together too. There's absolutely a Groundhog Day effect going on:

Wake up, make coffee, feed kids. Discipline kids. Re-heat coffee. Teach kids. Make lunch. Discipline kids. Clean kitchen. Teach kids. NAP TIME! Discipline kids. Karate. DAD'S HOME! Dinner. Discipline kids. NETFLIX! Sleep. 

There's nothing wrong with that rhythm, but it starts to feel mind-numbing after a few years. My "work week" looks nearly identical to my weekend and it can be BORING. There's no down beat- the rhythm of the week never changes. I'm guessing whether you work or stay at home or homeschool or put your kids on the bus, a lot of moms can relate to the Groundhog Day thing. 

All of creation was designed to fit into the rhythm of work and rest. You see it in nature's seasons and as humans our circadian rhythm requires an activity-rest cycle. God chose rest after six days of work creating the universe- and then He commanded the Jews to follow his lead - "Work 6 days and do everything you need to do, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to God, your God. Don't do any work..." (Exodus 20:8 MSG)

Modern Christians mostly ignore the Sabbath commandment of rhythm and rest. I myself have never been good about observing the Sabbath, considering it something legalistic and no longer required under our new covenant. But I've been ignoring the obvious fact that many things which aren't a requirement are still really good ideas. Like getting vaccinated or exercising frequently or brushing your teeth. We do things we don't have to do all the time for the sake of wisdom - maybe Sabbath is the same? 

This past week I determined to Sabbath. I took inspiration from an Instastory post by @anniefdowns who made a checklist of things she planned to do and things she planned to not-do on her Sabbath. What a concept! The idea that I could determine myself what Sabbath should look like for me in this season?  That I can define "work"? That "rest" might even mean going for a run? All of a sudden Sabbath sounds amazing! 

So on Saturday I was intentional and did ALL of the laundry. Like ALL of it y'all. Four loads. Washed, dried, folded, put away (mostly). I made a pot of chili for Sunday's dinner. I hand-washed dishes I would usually have left in the sink for the next day. I ran the dishwasher. Come Sunday morning we told the kids they were in charge of breakfast. Anything they could prepare themselves was fair game but I was not making waffles, flipping pancakes or schmearing their bagels with cream cheese. 

We left the TV off and played cards with the kids.

We ran out to Home Depot to buy flowers for the front porch because we wanted to.

We ate lunch off paper towels.

We went to church and came home to a dinner that was already prepared.

We left the dinner dishes in the sink for Monday. 

I stayed off social media all day long. Which was really refreshing. Turns out I didn't miss anything. 

It was delightfully simple. Not easy by any means, but simple. And probably, that was God's intent all along. Sabbath should rest our souls. Should provide breathing room to reflect on the lovely in life. Should remind us that it is God who makes the world turn and provides for us. Should allow space for the sacred to enter in and touch us.

One of my intentions this year is to Sabbath more regularly. To leave some space in my life for days that are "unproductive", to give my mama-hands a break from the monotony of the quotidian tasks that fill my non-Sabbath hours. To remind myself and my children that I am not God and I do not make the world turn.

What do y'all think? Anyone out there a committed Sabbath-er? If so give me all the encouragement!  What does your rhythm of work and rest look like? What does a day full of "rest" look like for you?

Anyone up for joining me?!

Is Blogging (and therefore this blog) Dead?

I took an extended break from the blog toward the end of summer. It wasn't intentional, it just seemed in keeping with my need to stop doing all the things this summer. 

After a beach trip heralding the start of summer, we came home and dropped all our formal lessons. We spent our days reading, imagining and playing. We paused the kids' karate lessons for 6 weeks. I even stopped setting my alarm clock in the morning. 

It was freeing to wake up with little to no plans for the day, to leave the TV on for too long, to let the kids stay up too late and to eat cheese+carbs for dinner too many nights in a row. 

Our trip to northern Michigan (which I fully documented on IG) a few weeks back signaled the end of summer for us. We came home and dove in with both feet, picking up school and karate and setting that alarm clock for the first time in months. This Thursday was our first day of the Classical Conversations community we joined this year. 

Several times over the past week I've thought about blogging; doing a back to school post, or posting that peanut butter pie recipe I teased y'all with on Instagram...but it just hasn't felt urgent. 

In 2009 blogging was a lifesaver thrown my way as the waves of motherhood were threatening to drown me. This blog was an outlet for my heart and my thoughts on days the walls were closing in. This blog unearthed a love for writing and a knack for communicating. 

But these days the kids talk back to me (mostly in good ways) and I'm feeling more at home on the seas of parenthood. I'll have deep thoughts in the shower and want to write something longer than an Instagram caption, but the urge is often fleeting. And now thanks to Instagram and Instagram stories, y'all know what we're doing and how my day has been, so the blog feels redundant in many ways. 

I don't know if the blog is dead or just on hiatus. I do know what a gift it has been, mostly because of those of you who have been faithfully reading and responding for 9 years. If you still read blogs, or even just this blog, let me know what kinds of posts are worth your time to read. And since it requires practically zero brain-space to post an instagram story, rest assured I won't be giving up that low cost/high reward platform any time soon. 

A Perfect Salad for the Fourth

When it's 90 degrees out in the shade and turning on the oven seems like cruel and unusual punishment, this is the dinner you need to be making. I made it last week and it'll probably be on rotation until the price of berries starts to go up again.

You cover all your nutritional bases; plentiful fruits and veggies, succulent roasted chicken and a hint of creamy cheese, crunchy nuts and tangy dressing to make sure you hit your fat allotment for the day. (You know I've been tracking my macros when I talk about dinner like this.) It's also crazy flexible: use any kind of greens you like for the base. Substitute raspberries and blackberries if that's what you have on hand. Goat cheese or feta cheese will both compliment the berries and adding nuts on top is a perfect finishing touch.

My one request is that you please, PLEASE make this balsamic dressing to go with it and keep it in your fridge at all times from here on out. Our family got this recipe out of a Southern Living issue back in the 90s and I don't think I've eaten a salad without it since.

Y'all. This vinaigrette is life. (Am I at risk of saying that too much?) It keeps for weeks and elevates every dinner salad. It also makes a great marinade and is great for dipping crusty bread into. Buy yourself a little cruet and keep a good balsamic and a good extra virgin olive oil on hand so you can whip it up whenever you need to. If it's summer time, invest $4 in a basil plant to keep in the windowsill so you can have fresh basil all season long. If it's winter...save your $4 for a pint of ice cream and use dried basil. :)

Summer Berry Salad with Chicken and Balsamic Vinaigrette 
Serves 1

Enough spinach (or salad mix) to fill your plate
Chopped baked chicken breast (make your life easy and get a rotisserie chicken from Costco...)
2-3 sliced strawberries
Small handful of blueberries
A sprinkle of goat or feta cheese
Optional: crushed walnuts, pecans or almonds, sliced red onion

Assemble your salad, dress with balsamic vinaigrette and serve alongside crusty artisan bread. 

Balsamic Vinaigrette
1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 Tbsp chopped basil
1/4 tsp ground pepper
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

Mix all ingredients except olive oil together in a glass jar. Slowly whisk in olive oil until incorporated. Keep in the refrigerator. 


This is the little book of recipes my mother sent me to college with that I referenced in my big meal planning post. Isn't this a fantastic idea? I use these recipes ALL. THE. TIME. 


Happy eating and Happy Fourth of July!

Friday Favorites

It's FriYaY and it also happens to be the first week of summer for many of you, so hopefully you have your summer playlist on repeat, some restaurant salsa mixed up and a batch of margaritas chilling in the fridge to kick the weekend off right. If not you need to rectify some things stat (right after you finish reading this.)

Here's a quick list of things I'm loving right now. As always, hit me back with your own recommendations so I can enjoy more goodness in my life courtesy of your fabulous self.

Happy Weekend!

This is How it Always Is
Some of y'all probably saw me binge-reading over the weekend via my Instastory. How I loved this read! Pretty sure I found it via Anne Bogel's summer reading list (if you love books and don't follow Anne's blog The Modern Mrs. Darcy you need to change the way you're living life). It's about a family that has to deal with the major curveball life throws their way.  The title comes from the idea that as parents we frequently make life decisions for our kids based on variables we cannot control and without sufficient knowledge. So relatable. I found myself empathizing with a situation I have never experienced personally and wrestling with how I would react given the same circumstances. SO GOOD!

Tybee Island Marine Center emails
When I took the kids to Savannah in April we joined the Tybee Island Marine Center (for a whooping $25 we got a year long family membership) which is a tiny but interesting building right near the beach that you could see in its entirety in 25-35 minutes. However, becoming a member got me on their email list which means that right now (during turtle nesting season) I get real time updates each time a loggerhead turtle comes to nest out on the beach! It is SO fun to get these little pictures and updates several times a week in my inbox and for real, it has been the highlight of my day more than a few times. The highest number of nests they have had since they began tracking is 23 and just a few weeks in to nesting season, they are already up to 9!! It could be a big year for sea turtles folks.

Elevation's Chocolate Mint protein bars
Maybe you saw this in my Instastory already, but these bad boys are LEGIT YUM.
I've been on a major protein kick this year to help me build muscle in the gym and in an effort to get my huge amount of protein each day, I picked up these bars from Aldi. They are kinda high in carbs (31g if you're watching that sort of thing) but I usually eat little in the way of carbs at other meals (I make up for it with my fat intake #cheese #almonds #chocolate). Most significantly, these are reminiscent of Thin Mints and even BJ thinks they are good. High praise indeed.  

Heavy lifting
I'm still at it and y'all....I am sooooo close to getting that pull-up! I've been using bodybuilding.com to find a variety of great, free plans (like this 4-week plan for women, with nutrition and workouts all laid out for you) and am loving the change of pace from my usual cardio-heavy routine. Lifting makes me feel so strong and confident. Plus at the YMCA there's a tight-knit crew of people who lift so joining the club has increased the adult conversations I have during the week by approximately 750%. I can do a kipping overhand pull-up now and can do a chin-up or a neutral grip pull-up from a dead hang. Fear not, I will for sure let you know the very second I get my real pull-up. (via Instastory, so be sure you're following me there if you care about such things...@leipprandt)

Sexy Marriage Radio Podcast
Huge thanks to my friend Annie for this recommendation. Sexy Marriage Radio is the podcast "that believes the best sex is happening in the marriage bed." The two hosts are married (not to each other) and the focus of each episode is on having great sex within your marriage. Their approach is frank but not explicit.  Both BJ and I have been listening this past month and since healthy, awesome (and sexy) marriages are our heart and passion, I had to share it with you guys. Can't recommend it enough to my married peeps.

Summer Moms Group
This is less of a what-I'm-loving-now and more a what-I-know-I'm-about-to-love.  In two weeks I'm hosting a moms group using this Birds on a Wire curriculum, which is AMAZING. There are six sessions on Purpose, Boundaries, Time Management, Personalities, Discipline and Contentment. I cannot wait to get to know some moms better and encourage one another! If you're local and are interested in joining us, text/email/comment and let me know, we'd love to have you!

Reflections on The 3rd Year Of Homeschooling

Truthfully, this year was the hardest. I had a second grader, a Kindergartener, a 4 year old and a 2 year old in the background wreaking havoc.

Jude dropped his morning nap about 8 weeks into the school year. Somedays I plopped him in front of the TV (but when I did that the others would whine and moan about the desperate unfairness of life) other days I would stick him in the bathtub and let him splash until the floor was covered in an inch of water and his fingers looked like peach pits.  On the hardest days I was in tears from his two year old antics by 9am.

Back in August my second grader still stumbled over simple letter blends and could hardly read. Motivating him was a Herculean task. On bad days (there were plenty) I thought I was damaging them. On the days when I was tempted to quit it all (probably five or six if I'm honest) and send my kids to the (delightful, wonderful, amazing) school that is literally a stone's throw away from our house, I reflected on my Why in starting down this crazy road and pondered if it still applied given the chaos.

Our Why of homeschooling is to prolong these fleeting years of play, to give our kids extended time to foster their primary relationships at this age (with parents, siblings and extended family) and to develop a love of learning that springs from the delight of discovery, not the compulsion of drudgery.

This Why reminds me to say yes to stomping in puddles and racing boats down the gutters instead of insisting on the day's spelling lesson. This Why says no (for now) to Parent's Morning Out or homeschool co-op groups. This Why says yes to a trip to the beach to see GranAnn during the school week and an impromptu sleepover on a Tuesday night with Gigi and Pops. This Why whispers, "let it go..." when I want to push another math lesson in place of an hour of Lego building.

So yes, school this year looked like role play for hours as each kid fought for the part they wanted, plot lines were debated and accepted, costumes were carefully selected and action commenced.

School looked like was an impromptu tour of the mayor's office and a discussion of local government when we went to get a permit for a garage sale one day.

It looked like my second grader's math practice to determine whether he had enough money saved up for a Pokemon book .

School happened on the beach in late November, finding treasures and seeing math and God's perfection all around us.

It showed up when brother and sister used their bodies as canvases and cracked eggs and read recipes and baked their own birthday cake. 

Looking back I see what couldn't be contained in those tidy 45 minute blocks at the dining room table. More often than not our learning came unexpectedly and in forms that took me by surprise- like a seed our lessons would lay dormant for weeks and then seemingly without cause spring up overnight and send out joyful shoots in wild and unpredictable directions.

It's only when I forget my Why that the How seems insurmountable and the chaos engulfs me. When I look back I can see that the Why expressed itself in the How and we were all better because of it.

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Lately a lot of you have asked about the How: so for those of you that want the nitty gritty, I've broken it down by subject below for your reading pleasure.

(And for those of you who don't care about the How - thanks for reading!)

We have always used a combination of curricula as opposed to turnkey, all-in-one program like Sonlight or an online academy. I am not an expert by ANY means, my knowledge is limited to my experience in the past 3 years and with 2 early elementary students, so take everything I say with that very large caveat.

We have used Singapore Math for the past 2 years. In Kindergarten my oldest used Math-U-See, but teaching it never felt intuitive, so I switched in first grade and definitely prefer it. Math is the one subject you probably NEED to have a curriculum for unless you have an advanced degree in teaching mathematics. Sequence is critical in laying a foundation for later mathematics. Elijah is right on grade level, having just finished up their 2nd book and Brit is a bit ahead, having started on her 1st grade curriculum this Spring.

I used Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons with my Kindergartener and it took her from a basic knowledge of the alphabet and some letter sounds in August to reading on a second grade level by April. I chose it because I had very little knowledge of how to teach phonics and this helped me understand the process myself. Once she finished the curriculum she began choosing progressively harder library reads and is now reading simple chapter books (Magic Tree House series are a favorite) She was FAR easier to teach than her older brother, which I think is more a function of the way she is wired than the curriculum I used. She probably would have had similar results had she used Abeka (what my oldest used in Kindergarten) but I switched over because I understood the methods in Teach Your Child to Read better - which I think is KEY. If you don't like what you're using, it's going to be hard to get your kids excited about it.

For history/geography/literature we have followed The Story of the World for two years. I ADORE THIS CURRICULUM. I cannot say enough good things about it. (But hey, I'll give it a try...) I love that this curriculum is not ethnocentrically focused on the Western/Christian world and that my children understood the rich history of the civilizations of Africa and Asia before we ever mentioned Columbus and the colonization of the Americas. There is a Judeo-Christian slant (for instance, the story of the Jewish exodus is taught as fact as well as the life of Christ) but my children have learned about the Greek and Roman gods, the five pillars of Islam, Buddha, Confucius and Hinduism alongside these Biblical accounts and know the role of these religions in history far earlier than I did going through school. I have purchased the audio CDs and the activity book and during our lessons my kids would color a picture or a map for our timeline while we listened to the stories. It was SO nice to have someone else doing the lecturing for a change!! Even if you don't homeschool, I think these CDs would be an amazing addition to your car collection (our local library carries all of them). We all enjoy listening to the stories and the kids will beg me to play it just a little longer when we're in the car. Maybe a different option for your next road trip?!

For spelling this year we switched to All About Spelling as I realized my oldest was not intuitively picking up on spelling as his reading progressed and he actually needed to understand the rules that govern the English language. I started my Kindergartener on it alongside of him and they are both mid-way through Book 2 here at the end of our year. For an intuitive reader, it's probably overkill, but for someone like my son who struggles to see words whole it has been wonderful.

For science, I follow the sequence author Susan Wise Bauer lays out in The Well-Trained Mind, which basically studies the sciences in the order man "discovered" them. This year was divided into the study of the natural earth (rocks, biomes, weather, landforms, the ocean, etc) and astronomy. Next year we will move on to physics at the same time Newton comes onto the scene in history. I usually purchase a comprehensive text (like this one or this one) to help guide our initial exploration of subjects within that science, and then we watch YouTube videos, enjoy Magic School Bus episodes, take field trips (this year to Fernbank and a natural cave system) and do as many hands-on experiments and natural observation as we can. This past semester has definitely been harder since the kids haven't been able to experience zero-gravity and we never did make it to an observatory for some serious star-gazing.

The kids also have to do P.E. everyday - skateboarding, bike riding or push-ups/sit-ups/squats on crummy days -which is why they have such great push-ups and plank form at karate class. Elijah  also began music lessons with my dad this year.

If we tackle each of these subjects daily (and it's rare that we do) it would take a maximum of 2 hours to get through everything with Elijah and about an hour to an hour and a half for Britain. Clearly we are not sitting at the dining room table all day every day. If the kids understand their lessons quickly, we move on. If something takes a long time for them to grasp (ahem, reading) we just keep plugging away at it. If we are having a terrible horrible no good kind of day, we stop. We play. We run errands or go to the park and I pray and trust that the Why will take care of the How.



More posts about our homeschool journey:

Year One:  We had a newborn, a 2 year old, a 3.5 year old and a Kindergartener. I freaked out and  put the 5 year old Kindergartener in a hybrid-homeschool program that had him out of the house 2 days a week and had me following pre-set lesson plans 3 days a week at home.

Last Year: I decided I wanted more control (I'm a slow learner, control is an illusion...) so I kept our first grader totally at home and did a bit of pre-schooling here and there with his 4 year old sister while our 3 year old and 18 month old wrecked our home in the background.

Shoot me an email or comment if you have any more questions about the whole thing. I love talking homeschool!

On Being An Influencer

I read a blog post yesterday recapping an "Influencer's dinner" attended by a blogger I follow. A brand the blogger writes sponsored posts for had invited she and six other "influencers" for a weekend showcasing the very best of the brand in the hopes that these influencers would say great things about the brand to you and me, the influenced. As I read her post I couldn't get over the idea that Influencer is a job title these days - one you become eligible for based on the huge numbers of social media followers you have.

And if I'm honest jealously is probably why I got so stuck on the idea. I thought, "I want to be an Influencer. I could be an Influencer. I should be an Influencer. I have good opinions, I have great thoughts." I got so caught up in it for a second. It was really small and really ugly.

Social media has twisted our perception of influence. We believe that if we don't have 10,000 followers on Instagram, if we do not get a ton of likes and shares on the articles we post, we are not Influencers. We are artificially divided into two categories, the Influencers and the Influenced.

And then I remembered truth- I am an Influencer. 

In my job, with my kids, in the relationships with those around me, I am an Influencer. 

But I take it this influence for granted. I don't craft my words as carefully in real life as I do online. I forget that memories of time spent playing with my kids will last longer than the pretty picture of our day I post online. If you're wired the way I am and you look to the right and to the left and desperately want to have an influence that looks impressive, you probably take these things for granted as well.

It's hard as a stay-at-home mom to see the impact or the outcome of my influence on a daily basis. When I say things I think are witty, or brilliant, or profound, there's no one around the kitchen table oohing and aahing over me. The feedback I crave (which is probably innate to us all?) is lacking from my kids, so receiving it from social media in the form of likes and followers is validation of my influence. And when I don't get what I think I deserve (that post was so funny...why don't more people like it?) it becomes a referendum on my worth, something that impacts me far more than it ought to.

But no matter how big my circle of influence is, I am an Influencer. 

Whether I have 15 followers or 15,000, I am an Influencer. And my influence is far greater around the kitchen table and in my neighborhood than it will ever be online. I have way more influence in the lives of the kids in my backseat, way more influence in the lives of my friends from the gym, way more influence in the life of my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and my nieces and nephews than I ever will with my followers online.

And you are an Influencer.

You are being watched. Your words are being stored in hearts, your actions are being mimicked for better or worse. Your life is impacting the people around you. So let's steward the influence have wisely. Let's not take it for granted and throw it under the bus because we wish we had influence in other places or with other people.

And now I'm going to go live my real life and try not to care if you "like" this or not.... ;)

Out Of the Blue

I tucked you in last night, kissed your forehead and asked you not to fall asleep so that you would stay four years old forever.

You giggled, pulled your thumb out of your mouth long enough to kiss me back and told me that in the morning you were going to wake up and be five. And then six, and then seven, and then eight...

The day we found out you were coming I called your dad back to our room and blindsided him with the news that I was going to take a pregnancy test. I used the bathroom and set the plastic stick on top of the toilet with a shaking hand. Your dad and I sat silent, not touching, on the edge of the bed while we stared at our phones and waited.

Motherhood and I weren't on the best of terms.

Your sister was seven months old and your brother had just turned two. We lived in a modest house with three bedrooms, all of which were already occupied. Where would you sleep? I cringed thinking about your newborn cries disrupting the precarious sleep we had only just established. We spent our days nursing, eating Cheerios, playing and watching Mickey over and over and over again.

My body and heart were wrung out daily before 10am while my brain rattled around seeking a way to be useful. Any little way, all day long. I was lonely all the time and never, ever, alone.  It was too much and not enough.

Time was up.

Neither of us moved. My legs were numb and my breath was caught in my throat. I told your dad he had to be the one to go look. He walked into the bathroom and came back with a whispered, "we're pregnant..."

"Not pregnant? Oh thank God!" I breathed out and collapsed back onto the bed.

"No babe. Pregnant. It's positive. You're pregnant."

"Oh."

I didn't cry.  I just sat up slowly and began to panic.

Being pregnant with you was an ugly kind of hard. Life felt heavy every day for nine months. Getting your infant sister snapped into her carseat and bending over my swollen belly to tie your brother's shoes took all of my energy. Your sister hated being in her carseat. Your brother always wanted to tie his own damn shoes. I was a yeller. And a crier.

Over and over I would repeat this truth to my heart: children are a blessing. I would remind myself of the many families who prayed for a child month after month. We settled on the name Benjamin because you were going to be our last son. We added the name Isaac - he laughs - because we desperately needed to lift the heaviness and feel the joy of laughter when we looked on you.

Five years later?

Life is an exhausting but joyful chaos of small bodies and spilled milk, time-outs and tantrums, bike rides and bedtime snuggles.

You are our middle child- sandwiched between a big brother and sister and a little brother.  You rarely get anything first. Your clothes are handed-down, your toys at the mercy of big and little brothers. You're too little to ride around the block by yourself, too big to wait at home while they go off to explore. You watch TV shows we never would have let your older siblings watch.

When you were born you had the bluest of eyes. Your brother and sister did at first as well, but theirs soon darkened to deep brown. Yours grew lighter and clearer as the months passed. We were all thrilled that Daddy's eye color had finally overcome my dominant brown-eyed genes.

After your blue-eyed little brother was born it was months before I realized your blue eyes were gone. In typical fashion, they had changed while my back was turned and the blue we had adored and nicknamed you for was quietly been replaced by sea-glass green.

Often times I feel like you're getting lost among stronger personalities and needier siblings. Frequently, I feel like I have let you melt into the mix. When I start to fear I am failing to love you well, I steady my breath and go find you so I can look into directly into your eyes.

Those green eyes have become my reminder, my reassurance that you are unique in the universe. They sing quietly that my fears of not giving you enough are foundless. You are a divine creation. You could never be lost or unknown.

After five years with you, this is what we know:

You crave physical touch and are always asking for a kiss, a back rub, a tickle, a wrestling match.
You delight in taking baths and hunting for turtles by the creek.
You have a lisp and a thumb addiction and you carry that ragged blue lovie around too much of the time.
You like alligators and sharks and monsters with sharp teeth and pointy claws.
You are fiercely sensitive, quick to cry, but quick to forgive and offer your tender heart back to each of us.
You are the only laid-back child out of four dang kids. Thank you for that.
You are the quick-witted one.
The one who makes us laugh til our bellies ache and tears stream down our cheeks.
You are the one who lightens every day.

Happy 5th Birthday to the child we never expected. The son of our right hand, a child of laughter and mischief. Out of the blue, our green-eyed wonder.

The Only Salsa You Need in Your Life

Good salsa is life. And store-bought salsa is a sad and expensive substitute for the kind of life you deserve to be living.

If you have one or two homemade salsa recipes up your sleeve, you can throw together a few kinds, rip open a giant bag of chips, slap some meat on the grill and have a spring/summer backyard get-together to rival anything Giada could host. (And Giada doesn't even make salsa so you've got a leg up already...)

I started making this basic restaurant salsa forever ago and it quickly became my go-to. It's simple; you dump the ingredients and pulse in the blender, it makes a giant batch (two full quart jars), keeps for weeks in the fridge and is made with ingredients I pretty much always have on hand.

Give it a try and let me know what you think!


Restaurant Salsa 
adapted from Pioneer Woman's recipe

2 cans diced tomatoes
2 cans Rotel  (I use one can regular and one can of mild, adjust for how spicy you like it)
1/4 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
2 big handfuls cilantro (cilantro is also life)
2 Tbsp lime juice
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
(Opt. for those of you who like it HOT - chop and de-seed one jalapeño, add it to the mix)


Note: This makes a HUGE batch. It's a simple thing to half the recipe if you're not hosting a shin-dig and won't eat it quickly enough. But...if you're going to all the trouble to make your own salsa, you should probably throw a party and share the love.

Throw all your ingredients in a (large) blender or food processor and pulse 5-10 times until well-blended and at a consistency you like. Test with a tortilla chip and adjust seasonings to your preference. If you can, make this ahead of time and refrigerate for a few hours so the flavors can really blend.

Small Beginnings at the Pull-Up Bar

Yesterday I was mindlessly scrollaxing on Instagram when I came across this image. I immediately rolled my eyes and flicked past it.

Being a beginner sucks.

I'm not sure anything unsettles me more than appearing to not know exactly what I'm doing. Being an expert at all things is kind of my thing. If by some unfortunate turn of events I have to be a beginner at some point in time, I do everything possible to ensure my graduation from total-newbie to decent-amatuer under the cover of darkness. I'm careful not to tell anyone what I'm up to to so that when (if) I fail, it goes unnoticed and un-remarked upon.

On a study abroad trip in college (undertaken with the singular goal of improving my Spanish through daily use) I took a bus two hours out of my way because I didn't want to risk exposing my beginner Spanish. I knew enough words to ask the driver for clarity, but I also knew I would probably bungle it a bit, so I kept my mouth shut and hoped for the best. (I ended up getting off in a small village that was clearly not my destination as dusk approached and finally humbled myself and got on the right bus.)

Here I am at age 34 and if you see me doing anything that I appear remotely good at, odds are good I have been practicing for MONTHS or YEARS sight unseen. This hatred for beginnings is one of many reasons motherhood has been so tricky for me. Either I'm the beginner or these kids are at pretty much everything we do, all day long. Beginners are the WORST. They are slow. They make mistakes. If I'm not them, they are in my way. And if I am them...well I'm in someone's way and they are judging me hardcore from atop their non-beginner pedestal.

All of this hatred brings me back to that quote I quickly scrolled past. ..

You might remember that one of my new year's resolutions was to do a pull-up. One pull-up. A small thing, but one that has been out of reach my whole life. So for me it's a big thing. I downloaded a training plan in January, but have yet to buy the over the door pull-up bar thingy for the house, so I have started training at the gym. In the free weight section.

Where the only pull-up bar is positioned in the very center of muscle-y man-ville.

Two months ago I pulled open the double doors and headed toward the walls of mirrors defining the lifters' territory for the very first time. To my left 50 year olds were trying to out-press each other on the bench. To my right a cluster of high school boys nodded to their Beats while knocking out sets of curls with 40s.

No beginners here.

Oh wait, except for me. The little (comparatively speaking) girl with the ponytail and floppy arms. I pretended to look at my phone while really watching the guy making strides toward the pull-up bar.

He jumped up, strained against his grip and flexed his back. His body was lifted. It appeared weightless as he flexed and hung, flexed and hung, his torso a plank moved by the simple lever of his arms.

I waited for him to finish out his set, gave myself an internal pep talk and casually walked over to the bar.  I turned to face my reflection, framed perfectly in the mirrors and jumped up. I flexed my back, and strained against my grip. Nothing happened. No lift. No slow but steady movement towards the bar. Not even a little twitch. Literally nothing happened. It was as if all my muscles had colluded to humiliate me.

I hung there for a good thirty seconds and dropped down, casually sauntering over to my water bottle like the hang had been exactly what I was going for. I thought I would have at least been able to flex my arms and make it part of the way there.

As I was rolling my eyes and flicking past that beginner quote above yesterday, thinking about how frustrating it has been to work towards this pull-up, the phrase below came to mind.

I didn't realize it (I thought it was just a pretty Pinterest saying) but as it turns out, it's from the Bible.

In the book of Zechariah, the prophet Zechariah is talking with God (as prophets do) about re-building the Jewish temple and in chapter 4, verse 10, God says, "Do not despise these small beginnings..." Another translation asks, "who has despised the day of small things?..." 

(Insert emoji of blond girl raising her hand) Oh hey...I do! Me, God. I hate small beginnings. I despise days of small things. Big things are more my style. I prefer grand finishes, big finales, ticker-tape parades, confetti cannons. You know, winning.

But you know what the second half of that verse says? "Do not despise these small beginnings...for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin." 

The Lord REJOICES to see the work begin.

You know why? Because while we are all people of small beginnings, God is a God of big finales. In Philippians 1:6 Paul says that God, "who began a good work in you, will perfect it..." The grand finish, the ticker-tape parade, the confetti cannons. They all belong to Him and come in His time.

During days of small things we are laying a ground work. Small beginnings necessarily precede big finales. The days (ahem, years) of small things are not a waste, not embarrassing, not insignificant.

And God knows that I in particular need a continual IV drip of beginner's humility in my life. Out of His great affection toward me He put this seemingly inconsequential goal on my heart and directed me to the pull-up bar at the gym. Where my pride is laid low and the work begins. He is using this silly pull-up thing to teach me again, that He rejoices to see me begin, that He is with me and that He will carry me to completion. Because as I am learning, in my weakness, He is strong.

What I'm Loving Right Now (Vol. No. 7)

Listening to: Blue Babies Pink
I discovered this podcast and @bretttrapp via a friend's Instagram account. She posted a picture, he left a thoughtful comment, and I had to know - who was this male stranger leaving well-worded comments on pictures of kitchen counters in Insta-land? Turns out Brett is a 34 year-old with a life story not much different than mine if you discount the facts that 1. He's male and 2. He's gay.  I fell down the BBP rabbit hole and furiously listened to this "Southern Coming Out Story" this past week. I didn't realize Jen Hatmaker recommended it recently until yesterday, so maybe you're already listening. If not, I highly recommend it.

Preparing For: Daylight Savings Time
My friend Ryan posted this fabulous little article on Facebook, reminding me that I should try to move the kids' bedtimes up gradually over the next few nights, rather than slam them with an hour change on Sunday evening (or wake up with all of them at oh dear heaven o'clock on Monday morning.) Again, highly recommend this method.

Reading: Circling the Sun
This is a fictionalized account of Beryl Markham's life written by Paula McLain (author of The Paris Wife). Beryl grew-up in colonial Kenya, became the first female racehorse trainer in that colony, the first licensed female-pilot in Kenya and the first female pilot to cross the Atlantic east to west. Wikipedia describes her as, "Impetuous, single-minded and beautiful, Markham was admired and described as a noted non-conformist, even in a colony known for its colorful eccentrics."
If that description doesn't make you want to read it, we probably have little in common literature-wise.

Writing: 7 Reasons You Should Be Going on Day Dates
If you missed it, I had the opportunity to guest-post on a blog I adore, Rage Against the Mom Jean, last week. The blog's author, Sherri is hilarious and relatable (even if she does have a far better bag and shoe collection than you do). I highly recommend checking out her site if you are a mom or like jeans or just like to laugh.

Eating: Tuna Salad
I am all about some tuna salad for lunch these days. I'm sure half of y'all are vomiting in your mouth right now and the rest of you are salivating. I'm discovering there's little middle ground when it comes to tuna salad. Personally I love it because it's quick, cheap and packed with protein. Which is a necessity these days because I'm also totally loving...

Working Out: Erin Stern's Elite Body 4-Week Trainer 
In the name of finally getting my pull-up, I went searching for weight lifting routines and found this gem on Bodybuilding.com. If the name of that website terrifies you, I get it. I was skeptical about using routines recommended by a site featuring ginormously muscled men on virtually every page. But this plan is by a woman, for women, and has fantastic video and pictorial tutorials with daily work-outs and nutrition tips for a full 4 weeks. P.S. This is what I look like when I'm curling.

Watching: The People VS O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story
I remember the events of this story from the 90s so vividly. I remember my dad's frustration when NBC cut to the Bronco chase during the NBA Finals. I remember listening to the verdict on WGN radio in the middle of 7th grade English class at Madision Junior High School. I remember hearing some students cheer and other students swear. I remember being bewildered by the difference in their reactions. If you viewed the nation's obsession with this story through your childhood eyes, it's fascinating to watch this dramatized account and see all the nuance you missed as a kid.

Reflecting on: the book of Isaiah
I'm following the daily She Reads Truth plan to read the book of Isaiah along with commentary for the duration of Lent. It has been a beautiful journey so far and a grounding reminder each morning that my sin is great BUT his Love is greater.


What are you guys watching/reading/eating these days? Do you use the gradual push-back method for bedtime around the time change or just deal with the chaos for a few days while everyone adjusts? Any good book recommendations or new podcasts I can binge listen?